Just woke up...

Last night, fear was eating me up. It just suddenly consumed me that I just dropped what I was doing and went straight to bed (straight to bed without finishing my work, turning off the computer and internet… ha!).
I promised myself to be stronger. I know I became stronger, but I’m not strong enough. How do you become stronger against loneliness? If loneliness is the only problem that can be solved by other people, how do you answer it on your own then?
A friend of mine was having girl problems, I could have given him the company he needed but I didn’t. I guess deep inside I was nurturing my own particular brand of loneliness. That I have problems on my own, and adding other people’s worries won’t help much.
All this is crap. I know that one day someone will take all that loneliness away from me. That one day, I’ll laugh it off with that someone as if my past was just a stupidly drawn bad dream. All these nonsense thoughts about being alone are utterly pointless. They’re nothing but masks to block away the reality around, and before me.
One day, that person will come. Hope. Hope is the answer to loneliness.
Until that person knocks on my door, my friends can keep me company. I know those true, outstanding and amazing friends I have won’t forsake me at my times of need, so why worry? (Cheers to each and every one of you!)
So here I am, still waiting for that special someone to enter my life, still waiting for that idealistic dream. As I inch towards that dream, I fall dawn, I lose faith, but then I still stand up taller than before.
So I guess I am stronger than before. Well, not particularly that happy right now, but still… strong enough to hold on ‘til tomorrow.